Women

When I was single, I remembered having friends who I so much enjoyed being around, who I shared so much love and respect for. I couldn't wait to meet up for brunch or dinner just to share, love and laugh with each other. I was always looking to inspire, encourage and enrich each others lives while spreading joy and giving hope to. And when talking about true desires of the heart...oh goodness...I was always so open with mine : ) Though we shared some things alike, there were some things I know I did privately that brought my destiny that much faster.

When I met my husband, the first thing I wanted to do was introduce him to my girlfriends and even to my not so close to girlfriends, but all women who I loved, admired and respected. They may not have all felt that way about me, but it is how I felt about them, but felt cared and respected for. I was just so happy to share life with them, the good news with them and then introduce them to my boyfriend and know that by doing so they won't be only sharing my joy, but he will be a symbol of hope for them as well.

One by one I introduced them and one by one they all disappointed. When we were all in the same situation on the same level things were good, but when I became someone elses fiancee there was nothing but hate, all hidden of course. To witness something real and something honest, brought out the worse in them - probably saying well why her and not me? They all tested what we had by trying to capture the attention in different ways. All in subtle, fleshy ways. They all searched for a response, the friend, the not so close friend and even a Pastor. Yes a Pastor. Although there was nothing directly done, my spirit knew and sensed the fleshy unflattering behavior, the words and what was used all in an effort to see if they too can be held attractive. I was disgusted and hurt...took me days, months to understand why and how women can be so cruel to each other. Then I realized that true like, true love don't come like that...don't move like that, it was all in a dislike for me. It was how they felt about me all along and if they can try to steal something away, even if it was for a quick second look, it would have been self gratifying for them. Proving we had nothing real. Awful.

What women don't understand is that it takes work, work within themselves for good things, permanent things to happen to them. It requires self examination - self searching, some looking closely of at the heart, some working on yourself, some searching to finding who you really are - the things you do and why you do them. There's something about a woman who is always looking for the easy way out, they want want want and have nothing to give, they want but don't want to put the work in. They want to get it by dating the rich guy, so they don't have to work, they want to get it by stealing the attention of someone elses man, so they can get that false sense gratification of...all temporary. If you want something real, if you want something honest, you gotta earn it and first have it for yourself. It's a cop out to think you are deserving of anything more without the work. I did with Christ, I looked and worked within, willing to see the good and bad, but I did it with GOD. In essence I put the work in. What I got, I got from God. I was willing to see me for who I really was and not how I wanted everyone else to see me...oh she's smart, oh she's so inspiring, oh she says smart things, no I KNEW ME. Everything that comes from me, actually comes from me. It is how my husband found me. You cannot be afraid to see you for who you really are. You can do it, it is hard but if you want to live a sincere life then you've got to know what you have to do, it is so worth it. Women are always ready to look at and try to get the attention of someone elses man, all in an effort to feel good about themselves. You have to feel good about you as know one else will. I don't know if anyone ever shared, but nothing good will ever come out of something that started under false pretenses or from being someone that you're not.

Women, what we don't understand is that anything we do short of the truth won't last. You can't run from yourself forever, you can try and pretend to be something you're not...how you want to be perceived, but it won't last. One day it will be put to the test and you will fail if you haven't put the work in. You don't want to be empty and live in denial forever. Making excuses for fleshy behavior is a sin. We women have to help each other...we have to share the truth and build each other up. There's somebody for everybody, you don't have to lust after a man and do things the wrong way. This experience gave me a different way of looking at life...a hard one...and ladies you don't know how hard I agonized and searched for the light in it. That's just me no matter how small of an issue as it was all done subtly, I still search. I knew I had to go through it in order to help someone else some day. It showed me the hidden side of people, the deep insecurities of people...not the normal kind, but the real hidden kind you won't experience until you are taken to that next level in life. You won't truly know who is supposed to go to that next stage of life with you until you are brought there. But the lesson in all this, the beauty in all this is that what I went through has taken me to a new place of love in Christ, I didn't think I can love him any more that I already had - it has brought me to a new trust in his never ending power of love. I end by saying, I will always always continue to love and try to inspire women, no matter what. No one can ever change who I am. I only now want to sit with those who are where I am in life and help those who are not from a distance. My close friends, you know who you are, my real good friends I will continue to live life with you...in truth and in love with Christ. For all the good friends out there! Continue to love and inspire each other. Natalie